Today I was reminded of growing up in the 70s and 80s in a small neighborhood near downtown Atlanta now known as Morningside/ Virginia Highlands. Things are a lot different now then they were when I was a kid or are they? And my heart is breaking. I love Atlanta, my hometown where I still live and work and raise my children. But I can’t unsee what I have seen.
I also remember the riots and looting when the Rodney King beating and trial happened and the subsequent riots and looting in LA that happened after and I was horrified then as I am now that this kind of excessive use of force happened then and before then, and continued to happen and is still happening and black men and women are being killed. It has to stop.
I remember once when I was a child my kindergarten teacher asked me where I was going to 1st grade and I said CW Hill which was in a predominantly black neighborhood downtown and we were close enough they bussed us in. We weren’t that many years past desegregation. Anyway she asked me if that was a “black” school and I said no it was brick. Because I really thought she was asking me if the school building was black in color, I had no idea what she meant.
My Mother was horrified at this lady, a teacher, for even asking me that. I didn’t understand her words but I felt her racism, like a nausea that came over me, a churn to the stomach. That feeling you get when something just isn’t right. I tell my children if you feel that feeling around a person speak up and move away from the person who makes you feel that way.
My parents were always advocates for all people and my father had marched in the civil rights protests in Mississippi when he was in grad school in the early 60s so my family is no stranger to protests. This racism and use of force is not new in the world but it has to stop. I get it why people are mad. I am mad, I am sick about it.
I also see counter groups using the Black Lives Matter campaign which has been peaceful, to insight violence in peaceful protests. I have seen videos of police using excessive force over and over again, this is an abuse of power. I have seen video of young, white children in riot gear in Atlanta standing in a line, what is that?
But I have seen other things that give me hope. A line of women protecting the crowd behind them from police. People chasing down looters and others inciting violence, police officers joining protestors. People joining forces to protest peacefully all over the world. People cleaning up after damage was done to their city. All hope can’t be lost.
I was innocent, I suppose as a child, but I grew up around a diverse group of people and I truly was taught not to judge people by the color of their skin but by the content of their character as MLK, Jr said.
So to see peaceful protests which were very powerful, go into damage and looting just made me sad for us all but also I thought well we watched a man be murdered I mean where is the moral law in that? I know people are angry and fed up and we all are, we should be regardless of color, it’s a human outrage. Racism is a sickness that runs rampant and it’s not any different here in my home city of Atlanta, the emerald city I used to call it because that’s what it reminded me of when we went downtown when I was a little girl. I love my city, and my country.
Something needs to change and if revolution is what’s needed to awaken the people then so be it. The other part of me wants peace but we can’t just go from war to peace. There is so much dissonance in the way. The ugly underbelly of racism has been exposed even more by this pandemic and it seems to show where we are weak in general in this country, and globally. Change is eminent. Evolve or we all suffer, the time is now for new beginnings. It’s time to wake up and effect positive change. Listen to your gut. Speak up when you see or hear hate or racism. We all have to stand together. I hear you my brothers and sisters. I love you. I am an advocate. #blacklivesmatter
Petrichor - An Online Journey 